Love Me Do

Last week the kabuki theatre know as the Republican National Convention took place. Didn't watch, didn't care. Tonight the sequel takes place - the Democratic National Convention - won't watch, won't care.

I like many people have way too much real life to vest any further in those whose lives are bound by politics. It has no affect on my day to day living, 4 years ago, today, yesterday or tomorrow. Simply put I have no glass ball to predict the future and no magic powers to turn back time. I cannot compare my life as it was 4 years ago, 10 years ago or simply even 8 months ago when I found myself alive from the result of a near fatal car accident. Can't say I am better than I was then but I am alive so that must mean something.

It would be wrong of me as the feminist I have always believed I was to address the hype or the hyperbole regarding the "war on women." As one of the victims of an assault recently I can say first hand war is ugly and it takes few prisoners. I wonder if the person who hurt me even understood what he did and why he did it? I assume no. That is the reality of our divisiveness we don't have to explain, justify or even apologize when our acts affects those of others. Why? I have no idea only theories. But I see many men of late and women acting on impulse to somehow protect, serve and justify their actions and deeds with little concern as to the widespread affect. As my mother used to say "as long as no one loses an eye its all good." Well we have long stopped seeing clearly when it comes to what is the right vs the wrong thing.

Lately I have heard men say the damndest things.. and to think that used be the provenance of children but these are strange days. And then to hear a woman of substantive wealth say this I wonder if we really are in the Twilight Zone.

And if you listen carefully, you'll hear the women sighing a little bit more than the men. It's how it is, isn't it?

It's the moms who always have to work a little harder, to make everything right.

It's the moms of this nation — single, married, widowed — who really hold this country together. We're the mothers, we're the wives, we're the grandmothers, we're the big sisters, we're the little sisters, we're the daughters.

You know it's true, don't you? You're the ones who always have to do a little more.

You know what it's like to work a little harder during the day to earn the respect you deserve at work and then come home to help with that book report which just has to be done. You know what those late night phone calls with an elderly parent are like and the long weekend drives just to see how they're doing. You know the fastest route to the local emergency room and which doctors actually answer the phone when you call at night.

You know what it's like to sit in that graduation ceremony and wonder how it was that so many long days turned into years that went by so quickly.

You are the best of America. You are the hope of America. There would not be an America without you.

Tonight, we salute you and sing your praises.

I'm not sure if men really understand this, but I don't think there's a woman in America who really expects her life to be easy. In our own ways, we all know better!

And that's fine. We don't want easy. But these last few years have been harder than they needed to be. It's all the little things — that price at the pump you just can't believe, the grocery bills that just get bigger; all those things that used to be free, like school sports, are now one more bill to pay. It's all the little things that pile up to become big things. And the big things — the good jobs, the chance at college, that home you want to buy, just get harder. Everything has become harder.

We're too smart to know there aren't easy answers. But we're not dumb enough to accept that there aren't better answers.

I am not sure where to begin on how offensive I found this. But the idea is that women are identified by their labels and associations with identities as those relegated to sidekicks - Mother, Sister, Daughter, Wife. What the hell? Where is Helen Reddy when you need her? We are women first and foremost, the other roles, titles or obligations and identities we have are often chosen or given to us. For women who aren't "wives" "mothers" "sisters" "daughters" what are we? Char-women?

Yesterday in the New York Times Magazine was a story about the new Matriarch - the pants wearer in the family. This follows last week's op-ed called, Men Who Needs Them? I can start to see why this war is on like donkey kong. No one likes to think they aren't needed, wanted or can be essential in a family or role. But as a women on my own with no other identity I would like the respect and recognition of that. I earned that, I deserve that. I love myself first. And as Ru Paul says "if you don't love yourself you can't love somebody else"

That is love. There is nothing wrong with it nor should it be. Love comes from within and extends outward. That is what makes life sustainable for the individual, the collective will follow.